Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Hai, i am back..wondering is anyone out there is reading my blog? i am a person who dun like to express my feeling to the public. but today duno y..sudd feel like writing something to expresed myself. i guess i am reali stress now. recently, a best friend of mine passed away. i reali stil cant accept the fact that she has passed away. its only like 4 days he was admitted to hospital, and suddenly her situation changed drastically and she left her forever. its like so fake for me.. she was only 22 years old, same age as me. why she will left this early. i reali dun understand. life is reali reali short. we duno what is going next.

when i was attending her funeral, i really stil cant accept that she has passed away. until today, i sti feel like she is playing hide and seek with us. reali cant imagine my next holiday back to sabah will be how without her. i miss her. reali miss her. i dun wanna look at our pictures or videos we took together. it wil make me miss her more, and make me feeel like she is just so close to me. cant believe that she is not here anymore. i can never hang out with her, chit chat with her, take picture together, travel together anymore. life is reali short. apprecciate what we have now. treat people nicely especially those who u appreciated the most. family, boyfriend, friends.

i was wondering how would it be if i died? wat will happen?how i died? when i died? how ppl arpund me will react?

sometimes i reali confused living in this world. it is normal that people who u appreciate may not appreciate u as much as u do. it is worth it? for me, i thk yeah. its worth it. but somehow sometimes it get hurtful when u care for the person, but the person doesnt reali care u back. or maybb i juz thk too much. i should stop thinking too much. but hw?? i duno hw?

i wonder how many true friend i have out there. the one i though is my true friends now, are they reali my true friends? i reali wan to know. i have a weakness, care too much. once i care about someone, and feel that she or he is very important to me, i wil be like over caring which is not good. this wil scare ppl off. i cant control. i juz feel like treating them the best i could do. because i treat them as my best friend. will they thk the same too? i have no idea at all. y isit so hard to know about ppl thinking hmm. how nice if ican read mind. or mayb is not a good thing, u wil thk more. but i wil stil have my principle. even though ppl who i thk is important to me doesnt thk the same way as me, i wil stil tret them the best i can do. because life is short, do something u thk is worth to do before its too late. dun make ursellf regret.