Hai, i am back..wondering is anyone out there is reading my blog? i am a person who dun like to express my feeling to the public. but today duno y..sudd feel like writing something to expresed myself. i guess i am reali stress now. recently, a best friend of mine passed away. i reali stil cant accept the fact that she has passed away. its only like 4 days he was admitted to hospital, and suddenly her situation changed drastically and she left her forever. its like so fake for me.. she was only 22 years old, same age as me. why she will left this early. i reali dun understand. life is reali reali short. we duno what is going next.

when i was attending her funeral, i really stil cant accept that she has passed away. until today, i sti feel like she is playing hide and seek with us. reali cant imagine my next holiday back to sabah will be how without her. i miss her. reali miss her. i dun wanna look at our pictures or videos we took together. it wil make me miss her more, and make me feeel like she is just so close to me. cant believe that she is not here anymore. i can never hang out with her, chit chat with her, take picture together, travel together anymore. life is reali short. apprecciate what we have now. treat people nicely especially those who u appreciated the most. family, boyfriend, friends.

i was wondering how would it be if i died? wat will happen?how i died? when i died? how ppl arpund me will react?

sometimes i reali confused living in this world. it is normal that people who u appreciate may not appreciate u as much as u do. it is worth it? for me, i thk yeah. its worth it. but somehow sometimes it get hurtful when u care for the person, but the person doesnt reali care u back. or maybb i juz thk too much. i should stop thinking too much. but hw?? i duno hw?

i wonder how many true friend i have out there. the one i though is my true friends now, are they reali my true friends? i reali wan to know. i have a weakness, care too much. once i care about someone, and feel that she or he is very important to me, i wil be like over caring which is not good. this wil scare ppl off. i cant control. i juz feel like treating them the best i could do. because i treat them as my best friend. will they thk the same too? i have no idea at all. y isit so hard to know about ppl thinking hmm. how nice if ican read mind. or mayb is not a good thing, u wil thk more. but i wil stil have my principle. even though ppl who i thk is important to me doesnt thk the same way as me, i wil stil tret them the best i can do. because life is short, do something u thk is worth to do before its too late. dun make ursellf regret.

well i am back

haha..it has been ages ago since i post for a new blog post...ahaha...in this middle of nite..its 3.15am ..i cant fall asleep...then i take out everything and start tidying up my old stuff..there are so many memories ther..form 1- form 6 ..ahaha...i had so much fun during that time...and now i am a second year law student in mmu ffuuuuu...time flies~~~~~~ i stil remember everything during secondary skul...my friendship..my stupid love story?ahah..how ugly and fat i am ..although now still..xD..BT AT LEAST..I AM growing old..sad...i stalk back all my facebook pic...i have change..reali change...change a lot..ahaha..there are so many frens where i knew through these years..some gone, some stay..some duno where...some change... time flies...

i read back all those cards frens made for me..i feel so happy...a little thingy are more than enough to make me happy.. cards, handmade present..and now i am wif kevin  chong..ahah..the other half of me...its reali unbelievable...i feel like all of these juz like a drama..i gt my family, i gt my friends, i gt my boyfie, i am studying and graduating soon..then work..then have my own family..wif babies..hahaha...so unbelieavable.. its like a dream..i stil remeber while i am stil a kid..no hair..so fun..no worries.. primary skul..play wif frens enjoy.. secondary skul started to have some friendship prob..starting to fall in love wif someone..ahaha..and exam..and now uni life..ahaha..i saw manhy types of ppl..mayb??its still more out ther when i am working soon..hahah...sctually quite waiting for that although will be stressful for my life....

hmm...my wish for future?ahah.. hope to get married at 30..have all the babies at 35.. work till 55 then my children will be 20++ then 65 perhaps?? they all are able to take care of themselves..and i hope that me and my future husband will be together and go to diff country to help those who need help put there... ahahahah..duno will this realise not? i hope so..=)

so i told this to one of my fren..abel...then he say i seems like having everything..ahaha..he asked me..what is happiness..i told him tat happiness is comfortable perhaps? comfortable wif ur life..wif ur family, lover, family... and he asked me is this permanent?and willthis last forever?i told him..no!! things change... no regret as long as i enjoyed the moment i have for now...ahaha...nth is permanent..then he asked me reali? so life is no point..then i tell him...u spend and do wat u wan in ur life..if life i pointlesss..everyone will be just sit down and do nt..wait time flies..there must be something which make them work for it..ahah..aim of life..and he told me..BRB..ahahaha..

no idea...juz hope i wil have a good life..i wil be a good lawyer and help everyone out ther..i wont like those stupid bad lawyer who disobey their own yuan ze juz for money..i hope i wont!!i wont!!!ahaha...i hope to be good to everyone...treat evryone wif kindness although they might not treat me the same back..bt at least..i do wat i thk it is correct..ahah right?